I have no idea what to name this post

Marriage Software

This is what a guy wrote to a Systems Analyst –
(Marriage Software Div);

Dear Systems Analyst,

I am desperate for some help! I recently upgraded my program from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected Child Processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

This wasn’t mentioned in the product brochure. In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during systems initialization and then it monitors all other system activities.

Applications such as “Boys’ Night out 2.5” and “Golf 5.3” no longer run, and crashes the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate selected “Soccer 6.3” always fails and “Shopping 7.1” runs instead. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favorite applications. Be it online or offline.
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True Humor Quotes

I love reading quotes on Goodreads. Mainly because it gives me snippets of an author’s words so I know which to get or read. But also because the quotes sometimes carry deeper meanings which are relatable.

So I decided to round up 14 humor quotes which look funny when read at first glance, but on deeper reflection has some truth to it.

Remember, it’s all about perspective.

So without much fuss, here are the 14;

 

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.”
Bill Cosby

“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well”.
Mark Twain

“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
Robert A. Heinlein

“When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity.”
Albert Einstein

“Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying ‘End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH’, the paint wouldn’t even have time to dry.”
Terry Pratchett

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.”
W.C. Fields

“Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.”
Will Rogers

“Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.”
Groucho Marx

“Confidence is ignorance. If you’re feeling cocky, it’s because there’s something you don’t know.”
Eoin Colfer

“The easy confidence with which I know another man’s religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.”
Mark Twain

“Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”
George Carlin

“A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.”
Mark Twain

“Humanity takes itself too seriously. It is the world’s original sin. If the cave-man had known how to laugh, History would have been different.”
Oscar Wilde

“April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.”
Mark Twain