The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination

I stumbled upon this just this week and was all shades of touched. I enjoy self-improvement and personal development, but I love it even more when the writer draws from their own personal experiences.

So here it is; J.K Rowling’s Commencement Speech at Harvard in 2008

rowling

Text as delivered.

President Faust, members of the Harvard Corporation and the Board of Overseers, members of the faculty, proud parents, and, above all, graduates.

The first thing I would like to say is ‘thank you.’ Not only has Harvard given me an extraordinary honour, but the weeks of fear and nausea I have endured at the thought of giving this commencement address have made me lose weight. A win-win situation! Now all I have to do is take deep breaths, squint at the red banners and convince myself that I am at the world’s largest Gryffindor reunion.

Delivering a commencement address is a great responsibility; or so I thought until I cast my mind back to my own graduation. The commencement speaker that day was the distinguished British philosopher Baroness Mary Warnock. Reflecting on her speech has helped me enormously in writing this one, because it turns out that I can’t remember a single word she said. This liberating discovery enables me to proceed without any fear that I might inadvertently influence you to abandon promising careers in business, the law or politics for the giddy delights of becoming a gay wizard.
Please, continue reading

2014 SAID……………….

This is a list of my Top Quotes of the Year 2014.

Some were gotten from books that I read while some were gotten from Tv or I just stumbled across it somewhere and can’t remember. I picked these ones because I felt that i could, on some level, relate to them.

“I guess by now I should know enough about loss to
realize that you never really stop missing someone.
You just learn to live around
the huge gaping hole of their absence.”
Alyson Noel

“Chaos was the law of nature;Order was the dream of man.”
Henry Adams

To get the rainbow, you have to endure the rain
The Fault in our Stars

There’s no such thing as a final score,
only the next one
White Collar

A broken heart is a broken heart,
to take a measure is cruelty
Scandal

The day the phrase “love is not enough” hits you
is the day you should strive to make it work not walk away.”
@Sirkastiq

 

No matter how expensive the shoe, it still pinches when it doesn’t fit
Steve Gould – Exo

“If you spend your life sparing people’s feelings
and feeding their vanity,
you get so you can’t distinguish what should be respected in them.”
Anonymous

“Be true to yourself.
That’s something everyone says and no one means.
No one wants you to be yourself.
They want you to be the version of yourself that they like.”
Anonymous

The truth is what we determine it to be.
And it lies not in the facts, but in the telling.
State of Affairs

RESPECT: Earned Or Demanded?

Note: This post is not an attempt to justify or condemn the behavior of both age groups. But rather I am aiming to look at this issue as objectively as possible. (Though I may fail at that)

Respect is earned, not given or demanded” or so my elders always say when I was growing up. Now that I am grown up to an extent, I can see the double standards or hypocrisy in that saying. They tell us that in order for us to be respected, we have to do something worthy of respect (the earning) but they expect us to respect them just because they are older (the demand).

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not disrespectful neither am I strictly respectful, I do not demand respect just because I may be older than you. I only ask that you treat me as your equal but that you, please, do not do anything to disrespect me. The notion that I have to show you respect just because you are older is dumb. You could be an alcoholic, a wife-beater, maybe abuse your kids, cheat on your wife and such, but I am supposed to respect you because you are older than me. Or that I should greet every elder I see on my way because “you are older and therefore should be given respect”.

“Respect yourself and others will respect you.”
 Confucius

“If you want to be respected by others,
the great thing is to respect yourself.
Only by that, only by self-respect will you compel others to respect you.”
Fyodor Dostoyevsky,

I don’t need you to respect me before I respect you, I just need you to respect yourself because I can’t, won’t and shall not respect a man who doesn’t respect himself.

I was in the bus going home sometime back, and the conductor who normally collects the fare from passengers was emphasizing that he didn’t have change. So there was a man behind me (how old? I don’t know but maybe 15 years older than me) who had change so I asked him to give me his money since I didn’t have change. So he gives me his money, with his right hand, and I stretch to collect it, with my left hand (I should point out that in my country, Nigeria, our elders view giving or collecting anything with your left hand is a sign of respect, their view and not mine) even though I was not even aware due to the sitting conditions in the bus and my right hand was at an uncomfortable angle and I couldn’t make use of it. The man withdrew his hand and went on to try to embarrass me that I was not trained well. Well, I did the only obvious thing; I hissed in my seat very loudly and said “If it was Wizkid or Davido who gave you a million naira check with his left hand, will you even say anything?”. The other passengers bust out laughing and so began a war of words between the youth and elders in the bus. This went on for about 10 minutes while I kept quiet. When they showed no sign of slowing down, I said the only sensible thing left to say since it was I who caused it anyway. I said “You elders are the reason this country is the way it is today, do not expect me to respect you when you sat by and did nothing while the country was being looted.” And that quieted them down a bit though I still got the evil eye now and then till I got down from the bus.

I am not saying what I did was right, but I am not going to say it was wrong. I did what I had to do because some dude felt I was doing something wrong and decided to embarrass me.

So my question is this; do you just respect someone because they are older than you, even though that person doesn’t respect himself? Or is respect actually earned by everybody of all ages?

I refuse to be a part of that double standard and if that pisses you off, well, the problem is yours and not mine.

 

Colour Me Baffled

I’LL NEVER UNDERSTAND . . . . . .

I decided to put this out here. The list is very exhaustive but these ones aret at the top. I don”t claim to be an expert so  any opinion shown here is personal. More to come soon………..

I generally like to classify life in four ways;

–  Things I do and I understand why I do them.

–  Things I do even though I will never understand them.

–  Things I will never do even though I understand them.

–  Things I will never do and will never understand them.

In this post I will be talking about the second on the list, things I do and will never understand. Yes, I am guilty of doing things that I don’t understand, even you are too. I’m not saying those things are bad, it just that since I’ve always been a logical person, I’ve never found the logical reason behind my doing of such things.

So without much talk, here are the top 4 off the top of my head;

  1. ADVICE

Now this is a personal for me and doesn’t reflect on the world at large.

What am I saying? Yes, it does. Or do you doubt me? Then answer this;

  • How many of you ask for advice or direction when you already know what you would do regardless of the person says?
  • How many of you people waste your time offering words of advice to someone knowing that they won’t even take to heart?

Seriously, why bother asking when your mind is set or why bother telling when you know it won’t be heeded?

A few advice do get through, but that’s just it. A few.

I think it’s pretty simple. It’s either you do this or you do that. And when you do this, such and such will happen. And when you do that, such and such and such will happen. And when you fully understand the results or consequences of your actions, why bother asking someone else.

Now for a little truth;

NOBODY NEEDS YOUR ADVICE

ALL THEY NEED IS YOUR SUPPORT

It’s brutal to lay it like that but it is the truth. Or even if they at the rarest moments need that advice, they’ll never tell you the main motivation for needing that advice because then you would see them for who they really are and that would leave them vulnerable.

I got into an argument with a girlfriend over this train of thought and she laid out good points, I was never really convinced.

  1. CHRISTIANS

Don’t attempt to confuse it with Christianity. Christianity, in my own words, is a way of life, a philosophy and the people who practice it are known as Christians. If I am to make a top list, Christianity will be ranked above technology as one of the best things to ever happen to humanity.

It’s the people who practice it over the years that make me angry because they have now 1­) made it into a matter of convenience (a practice it whenever I feel like or suits me thing) and 2) integrated logic into it.

I’m a very logical person but I do not for what so ever reason make the two go together.  There are a lot of laws of Christianity that’s not logical but it is not to be disputed or disregarded if you want to practice it.

One very good example is a verse in Deuteronomy that says MEN SHOULD NOT PUT ON THAT WHICH IS MEANT FOR WOMEN AND WOMEN SHOULD NOT PUT ON WHAT IS MEANT FOR MEN. Feel free to delve into this but I will not be joining you.

Another example is that very popular scripture that says LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF. Your neighbor is not just the dude or gal next door; it’s any and everybody alive. But history shows time and again that Christians are the most discriminating people around. That kind of love that was asked of Christians just doesn’t exist anymore.

  1. STUPID PEOPLE

Only two things are infinite,

The universe and stupid people,

I’m not so sure about the universe”

ALBERT EINSTEIN

Please feel free to use to also use words such as idiots and fools and whatever word you can find. Personally, I prefer stupid. In the Oxford Dictionary, stupid is defined as unintelligent or foolish.

Anybody can be stupid as I stick to the 5-minute rule that says everybody exhibits a given level of stupidity for five minutes in a 24 hour period. But when that extends beyond five minutes, then that is just the real deal. Stupid people are the most amusing mental classification around, in that they exhibit tendencies of stupidity so often that it becomes who they are and they never realize just how stupid they are.

I would to talk further on this but I can’t do so without sounding stupid and I don’t want that.

  1. LOVE

You will always fall in love,

And it will always be like having your throat cut,

Just that fast”

CATHERYNNE M. VALENTE

DEATHLESS

Yup, just that fast. I’ve never really been in love until now and it’s something I which I want to know the logic.

How do you fall in love? Do you choose who you fall in love with? Is it a gradual process of instantaneous?

If I were to answer these questions, my answers would be;

I don’t know. No. it’s never the same for everybody.

I don’t claim to understand love I believe I will never understand it. I don’t even want to try to understand it because it’s different for everybody. It sucks, it hurts, it’s painful yet it’s the purest most wonderful feeling in the world and no matter how many times we hurt, we always want to fall in love again.

While people choose to hate, be stupid or do other things, I’ve never heard of someone who chose to fall in love with some particular person for some particular reason. Most times, you can’t convincingly explain why you love someone. We just do.

Personally, I would want the world to fall in love often, no matter how many times it hurts. Get yourself up and go fall in love again and again and again until you can no longer feel hurt.

“When you love so much that it hurts,

There’ll be no more hurt, only love”

MOTHER THERESA

“Love isn’t about finding someone worth living for,

It’s about finding someone worth dying for”

ANONYMOUS

So let me know how you feel and if you really do understand.